It seems that I have a natural knack for being in a hospital. Though I absolutely did not plan spending any moment on Christmas in an Emergency Room, I had the unfortunate luck of being in that exact place. Or should I say Liz, my girlfriend, had the unfortunate luck this time.

After dinner Liz and I were planning on eating desert in bed and settling in the rest of the evening and watch movies. She would take a bath first, while I cleaned up so we wouldn’t have to do that in the morning and that’s when it all went horribly wrong.

I was nearly finished with everything when I heard a scream coming from the bathroom. I dropped the glass I was holding on the floor, cringing as it crashed, and ran to the bathroom. On the last step I slipped on the wet floor and fell on my ass right in front of a naked Liz, who was clutching her arm with a bloodied towel.

We looked each other for a second before bursting out in laughter as I picked myself up from the floor and assessed the situation. One wet ass and one large gash on Liz’s forearm, which was definitely going to need stitches.

I asked Liz what had happened and she said she freaked when she saw a spider hanging from a thread right above her head; she tried to hurry out of the bath, slipped and fell hitting her arm on the handle we were going to fix a week ago.

I should have known it was something like that; the woman is petrified of spiders, even the little ones.

While she was trying to stop the blood from gushing out, I had the task to dress her and then drive to the emergency room. It didn’t take us long and that is a good thing to because the hand towel she had was an inch away from being soaked in blood completely.

After I helped her out of the car and wheeled her inside (the one part that is fun and make her sit in whenever we find ourselves in a hospital), a nurse escorted us to curtain 3 and told us the doctor would be on his way in just a moment.

That was a moment indeed. A mere minute later he was looking at Liz’s gash and told her she needed stitches. He instructed the nurse to get a suture kit and ‘fix the lady up’ so we could enjoy ‘what’s left of their Christmas Eve’.

We were in and out of the hospital before you could say I want a Hippoposmus for Ismas. Which I was quite thankful for; I did not need a repeat of that performance, from anyone.

The nurse, a lovely young woman named Rachael, fixed up my girlfriend quite nicely. She told Liz to keep it clean and to get check with her doctor in a couple of days to see if the wound healed up nicely and take the stitches out.

Before we knew it we were on our merry way back home. I finished up cleaning (including the glass I dropped when I heard Liz’s scream) and trotted to the bedroom with our desert, chocolate pudding. Fully intent on watching some classic Christmas Movies, I was unfortunately greeted by an entirely different view. Liz on top of the covers completely knocked out; I guess the excitement of spiders, blood and an emergency room was too much in one evening.

I gently put her under the covers, kissed her forehead, popped in a DVD and settled next to her. I grabbed my spoon and chocolate pudding and before my spoon even touched the pudding I hear a soft ‘don’t you dare eat that entire pudding’ coming from Liz.

Crap